Trying to Understand
John 20: 19 – 31
As some of you know, I grew up in a small college town in northwest Ohio by the name of Ada. I, like many of my friends were faculty brats, Mom, and Dad both worked there. Julianne and I met at Ohio Northern, one of the United Methodist supported universities in Ohio. There was a chapel that sat right in the middle of the campus and at 11AM every Thursday there were no classes scheduled so that everyone; students, faculty and staff could go to Chapel Services. For the most part the chapel would be full and then afterward the students would go across the way to have lunch in McIntosh Center.
The UMC appointed pastor that was there my first year was a man by the name Dr. Ronald Beanblossom. Nice guy, he was a good administrator for the missional programs directed by the Christian Campus Life folks. He was there for only one or two years before he was moved by the church. It has been a long time since I was there sitting in Thursday chapel services but to this day, I remember one message that he gave on one Thursday. I thought it was a bit odd at the time but over the years I have come to appreciate the theological and Christological wisdom of it.
Again, it was a Methodist related university but they students were not predominately Methodist, in fact even though it was a religiously affiliated university I do not know that even 50% of the students were “church-going” before they came to college. So, on this one Thursday morning Dr. Beanblossom stands up in the pulpit and tells the faculty, staff, and students in attendance that college is “a time to be agnostic”.
Agnosticism is the view or belief that the very existence of God, of the divine, is unknown or unknowable by human means alone. That “human reason and thought alone is incapable of providing sufficient rational grounds to justify the belief that God exists.” To act as an agnostic then means to challenge what you think that you believe, to cast doubt on spiritually remarkable notions, to forget or set aside, at least for the moment, what you have been taught about beliefs in the world around you, challenge the values that were taught to you, consider the level of faith that you have or the lack of faith that you have. It means that you should affirm for yourself what you are asked to believe in and the faith you have.
At first that did not seem to be a lesson that the college chaplain should be preaching to bunch of 18 – 22-year-olds that are out from under the rules, restrictions, and guidance of parents. To allow, make that encourage, these young adults to essentially wipe the slate clean of what others had been telling them about life and faith, to make their own moral judgements and to create their own value system and spirituality.
Dr. Beanblossom was Trying to get them to Understand for themselves what was important to them and Try to get them to Understand why and how those principles are important and foundational to them. Clearly that goes on in life, whether in college or elsewhere, children grow up, move away from home, move out from under the feathers of the momma bird and learn new things and reinterpret old things. They were Trying to Understand what had been “preached” to them in light of their own life events and experiences. That seemed to me to be a process fraught with dangers and potentially poor choices but in retrospect, I believe that it helps us understand the Disciple Timothy in our lesson today, as well as giving us insights into how we too come to believe and to grow in faith that Jesus Christ is Lord.
Our lesson today is a “two-fer,” two stories that are interconnected, interrelated. The first story tells us that on the evening of the first day of the week, that would be the evening of Easter Sunday, all of the Disciples, except for unknown reasons, Thomas, are in the locked Upper Room trying to hide from the Jewish leaders that killed Jesus and almost certainly would kill them if they could find them. They had heard the story that Mary tells them of what she saw and heard on that first Easter morning, they know what Peter and John reported that they had seen at the empty tomb. Yet here they remain in a locked room, afraid and confused.
Then the newly transformed Jesus comes into this locked room and stood among them, He offered them His peace to allay their anxiety, He showed them his hands and side as proof and the disciples were overjoyed. Then he breathed on them and promised them the power of the Holy Spirit. Then as quick as he came, he vanished.
When Thomas comes back to the room later, the other disciples tell him, “We saw the Master.” But the one we know as Doubting Thomas says, “Unless I see the nail holes in his hands, put my finger in the nail holes, and stick my hand in his side, I won’t believe it.” You see, as is his character, Agnostic Thomas needs more proof, something more tangible and personal, He is Trying to Understand how all of this makes sense.
Then the second half of our two-fer stories begins. Eight days later, the disciples were again in the room. This time Thomas was with them. Once again Jesus came through the locked doors, stood among them, and offered them Peace. Then he focused his attention on Thomas and clearly, He had heard what Thomas needed to believe as He says, “Take your finger and examine my hands. Take your hand and stick it in my side. Do not question what you have heard but believe because you have the proof that you need.” Astonished, the now Confessing Thomas exclaims, “My Master! My God!” Jesus said, “So, you believe because you have seen with your own eyes. Even better blessings are in store for those who must believe without seeing me.”
Though many of people have labeled him dismissively as Doubting Thomas, the reality is that he is more like us than we want to admit. His questions do not really exude doubt but rather a questioning and discerning mind. He was, as Dr Beanblossom suggested, he was being agnostic, he needed something more than what he was being told, what others wanted him to believe. At the end of the day, he was practical, pragmatic, discerning and inquisitive. His actions and questions are not dismissive doubt but rather a hunger to Try and Understand what he was being told.
His nature was also apparent in another interaction between Jesus and himself. That night in the upper room Thomas listened to the encouraging words of Jesus about heaven (14:1-3). Indeed, Thomas’ response to these words were revealing. Thomas said, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going. How can we know the way?”
Agnostic Thomas is acting the same way as we might, saying we trust you and love you Lord, but we need more information so that we can Try and Understand where you are going so that we can find you there. As we know Jesus answers, “I am the way and the truth and the life” but it comes at the questioning of Thomas, and it provides Inquiring Thomas and us the information that is needed.
Thomas was an intellectually honest man. He wanted to know more, see more, to help him understand this remarkable spiritual event that was being told by others, Jesus died on Friday and by Sunday he has risen and maybe even appeared to the Disciples in the Upper Room. But did it really happen and are these tales really true. The Resurrection and transformation of Jesus is heady stuff, Confused Thomas was simply Trying to Understand! He refused to say he understood something when he did not. He unable to say he believed something he really did not.
Hear the Good News my Friends…..
Do you know the end of Thomas’ story? Do you know where and how he died? He chose to go to India, and he became the apostle to the people of India. He brought the gospel of Christ to India. For his faith and mission, Confessing Thomas died a martyr after he was run through with five spears by five soldiers. That does not sound much like a doubter, does it? It sounds like someone who grew and changed, someone for whom the resurrection of Christ was real, someone for whom the empty tomb made a difference. It just took a little time, as it does for most, maybe all of us as we are Trying to Understand!
Before today we know had all heard the story about Doubting Thomas, yet today we have been introduced to Agnostic Thomas, Inquiring Thomas. But we must never forget Confessing Thomas, the one that after Trying to Understand exclaimed one of the most faithful and Christological statements ever, when after seeing what he needed to see, he exclaimed you are “My Lord and my God!” thereby professing and affirming that Jesus was and is both our Savior and our God!
With those words Thomas recognized and named a new relationship between himself and Jesus, a new relationship between Jesus and the world, a new way of being dedicated and committed to Jesus and him alone. Somewhere along the path from Doubting Thomas to Inquiring Thomas, to Agnostic Thomas and finally Confessing Thomas is the story of resurrection transformed Thomas’ life.
Friends all that stuff about Doubting Thomas, the implication of his disbelief, was just Thomas’ starting place to Try and Understand and Believe, nothing more and nothing less. It is neither good nor bad. It is a starting place. And we all have our starting places.
What was your starting place? Where is your life today? The continuation point for the story of your resurrection is here, yet your transformation continues to evolve! Whatever your life is today, whatever your circumstances are, that is the continuation point for your story of resurrection.
Friends we all grow in faith by continuing to Try and Understand these lessons God is willing and prepared to teach us. Through the Holy Spirit, our Lord continues seeks to “show” us what we need to see so that we can believe, confess, and live into our faith. Then we can continue to grow in our faith as our lives unfold and transform at the will and for the purposes of God for our lives. Dear ones, never doubt but always seek the truth of God. If we earnestly and purposefully Try to Understand our Father is ready and willing to teach! Amen.